What Happened To Authenticity?
I've been reading an interesting book on speaking called "Be Heard Now" that states that one of the main keys to effective and relaxed public speaking is being authentic. Seems reasonable, but what I was wondering about is why we have to learn to be authentic.Have you ever had to teach a small child to be authentic? Heck, no! You never have to ask a kid how they're feeling - it's right there. You get their authentic self whether you want it or not.
So what happened to us? How did we lose that spirit of genuine expression? Why are we afraid to just be ourselves?
Well, I think we had it trained out of us. A lot of folks were brought up in an environment where they were told that they were not good enough, broken, defective. Did you ever hear a mother yelling at a kid, "Why are you so stupid! I told you never to do that! You are nothing but trouble!" A person who thinks they're broken won't be authentic - someone might find out!
Others of us were brought up in more supportive environments but still had to deal with occasionally harassed parents who said things we misunderstood. When you're a 2-year-old, you can't see that your feelings are OK to have, but your 2-year-old method of expressing them might not be appropriate. So we quit expressing what we feel, even though we have new ways of expressing.
So we get to be adults and wonder why we can't connect with people in satisfying ways. It doesn't just show up in our personal life, but in business, too. Many people in sales struggle to find the key to winning business. The secret that many top salespeople have found is that authenticity and the connection that it brings has enabled them to move from average to top producer. Why? Because people buy from people they like. Authenticity bypasses the buyer's BS detector.
What the key to authenticity? Love and accept yourself, with all your glorious human imperfections. Quit trying to hide - you're not so bad, after all. When you accept yourself, you can accept others. When you like yourself, you act with integrity. People feel that, and it builds trust.
Besides, it'll make you a lot happier, too!
1 Comments:
Wes:
I love the last paragraph about authenticity. "Quit trying to hide."
So often we cannot accept a compliment graciously---and usually dismiss it---but we often accept willingly the smallest amount of criticism as FACT ("They can see through my facade.")
Yes, children are the purest example of authenticity---yet we adults encourage them to hide their "true" feelings. What a shame.
Thank you for posting this message. I GOT it.
Danny B
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